We analyzed over 100,000 first contacts on our sugar daddy dating app. Looked at keywords and phrases and how they affected reply rates, the fact is that first impressions really count. Our research into online dating statistics shows that there are some set rules that we all need to follow, for what you should and shouldn’t say when sending your first message.
This post will probably help you feel more comfortable when introducing yourself to your first message.
A Great First Message: Netspeak
We recommend you that Tone down the Netspeak, with the words (if you can call them that) ur, r, u, ya, cant, hit, really, luv, and wat, are the top nine worst words to use in an opening message. Netspeak, bad grammar, is the main culprit when it comes to unsuccessful first message.
But, people like a sense of humor, and you need to be casual to convey genuine laughter. “haha” (45% reply rate) and lol (41%) both turned out to be quite good for the sender. Interesting exceptions to the “hehe” was also a successful word, but much less so (33%). Scientifically, this is because it’s a little evil sounding, while still effective tends to sound a bit like a supervillain. It’s okay to laugh, but keep the rest of your message grammatical and punctuated.
Tip: Messages that start off with Hello or Hi come across a run of the mill and perhaps a bit boring. So while you should avoid using netspeak too much, using slang or an unusual greeting is considered a great move. You could always spruce it up a bit and go with a foreign greeting, but make sure you know what it means.
A Great First Message: Interests
Noticing what I have in common with a girl, then starting a conversation about it. While everybody enjoys compliments on their looks, focusing too much on physical looks seems to imply shallowness. Messages using words like beautiful and sexy will more often than not end up getting deleted immediately. Better to focus on interests, or even better, common interests.
The best first messages show us that you’re interested in who we are – not what we look like. Talking about your own interests can give the recipient a good idea of what you are like. It seems this is almost as important as talking about their interests so using any word that describes an interest or hobby is great, once your hobby isn’t too weird.
“You sound like a pretty interesting person, so I thought I would shoot you a message. Have you ever read the Game of Thrones books?Since you like the show, you will probably like those. What kind of fiction do you normally go for? Or all kinds?”
He gives a good attention to complement common interests and personality – not looks, while he also takes into account next point that I am gonna mention it.
A Great First Message: Question
Nothing starts a conversation quicker than a question. So do yourself a huge favor and simply ask one. And just like an ad agency makes a call to action, you can too, by simply asking about an interest or even suggesting a dinner date. Our subconscious tells us that it’s rude not to answer a question so your chances are increased tenfold by just asking.
- Keep it Simple：Some guys make the mistake of firing off a long list of questions about a whole range of topics. Stick with one or two low-pressure questions that make it easy for us to respond quickly because we’re interested.
- Keep it Short：Your first message should make a simple introduction, express your interest in her profile, ask one or two long-game questions about things you share in common, and then simply sign-off with your name. A couple of lines or a paragraph or two is great.