The Best First Message You‘ve Received

I just signed up and I’m curious because I don’t want to just open with hi, how are you? So what kind of initial message do you like and what makes one good?

——From Reddit

first message

Well, nice touch, and I was wondering too. 🙂 And there will be some responses to that question, from girls who often receive the first messages from strangers on a dating site.

—— Be sure to have a picture implying you have abs but be careful not to be topless

But how does one do this in a non-douchey way? Girls would like to tell you that a Wet T-shirt contest or beach picture will be good.

—— Mention something from their profile. As to them a question.

For example:

Hey there,

You speak of pizza like a character out of Pendleton Ward’s teenage journal. Although I’ve never put it into words, I think I’m just about the same… I have friends who like weed or booze or new shoes but the only thing I need is them cheesy, crusty, pepperoni, saucy chews.

Well, now that I’ve rhymed my way to your message box, it can only go up from here. But I see that you’re an animal collective fan (astute, I know); have you heard Panda Bear’s new stuff?

I’m Stephen. Hope you’re having a great Tuesday morning.

That one was a bit wordy but I liked it and he is super cute.

So are we actually a match here or did you just give me a lot of stars because I have a picture where I’m standing in front of a decent pizza place?

So you see, there is no right or wrong way to send the first sugar message. Be attractive, be confident, and avoid using “haha” at all costs.

—— Short or long doesn’t matter as long as you reference something specific from their profile.

Paragraph-long messages that are clearly copypastaed never get a response from smart girls. While they often get long messages from guys, they will also respond to something simple if they like the dude’s profile. However, it does have less tolerance for short messages as the conversation continues because it’s often been correlated with a guy being a shitty conversationalist.

—— Get to know each other, not an interview.

Mentioned a movie she listed as her favorite, complimented her taste in movies, and spent a couple of sentences talking about your opinion on the genre. Wasn’t an amazing, witty, and grammatically perfect message, but you came off as someone genuinely intrigued in her interests and was able to get a conversation going with thoughts of your own. But stop “I see you like X, what’s your favorite one?” It’s supposed to be a conversation so we can get to know each other, not an interview.

  • showed effort or showed that the guy was intelligent.

Semicolons are my life and Wizard Peo
ple, Dear Reader is an underappreciated masterpiece. I think we might get along famously.

How small-minded of you. Serial killers need love, too! (I concur… a lot of the questions are pretty dumb.)

So the most clever/well thought out messages aren’t always the best ones 🙂

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