{"id":1127,"date":"2017-03-16T12:03:44","date_gmt":"2017-03-16T16:03:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sugardaddy.world\/blog\/?p=1127"},"modified":"2019-01-15T02:50:20","modified_gmt":"2019-01-15T07:50:20","slug":"sugarbabyupperclass","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sugardaddy.world\/blog\/sugarbabyupperclass\/","title":{"rendered":"Sugar Baby: Intro to Upper Class Culture"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Dear Sugar Baby:<\/p>\n

\u201cGood manners will open doors that the best education cannot.\u201d -Clarence Thomas<\/p>\n

I think this is my longest segment so far\u2026<\/p>\n

So I\u2019ve gotten a few requests regarding this little series I\u2019ve been doing, and dining etiquette is one that keeps coming up. Before I begin, I want to point out that this is American dining etiquette; every culture has different rules and accepted norms, especially when it comes to dining, so if you are going to be dining outside the US or if you are from outside the US these rules might not necessarily fit your circumstance.<\/p>\n

Also, I sort of fell off the bandwagon writing these because of some personal things in my life, and work..and Ramadan. But without further adieu, here is Dining Etiquette.<\/p>\n

\"sugar<\/p>\n

A note: I\u2019ll be kind of dividing this into two main scenarios, dinner parties and nicer restaurants, but even within those two scenarios there are differences in behavior if it\u2019s a business lunch versus a date, or depending on how well you know the host of the dinner party etc. but this is just an overview.<\/p>\n

First, the invitation. Focusing more on dinner parties, if you\u2019re invited to a dinner party it\u2019s fine to say no. You don\u2019t even necessarily have to give a reason, just saying you have a prior engagement is fine. However, once you say yes you\u2019re locked in unless there is some emergency. The season finale of the Bachelor being on is not an emergency. Deciding you\u2019re too tired after work to get dressed and drive somewhere is not an emergency. Why am I stressing this so much? Dinner parties are expensive to throw, especially if the host is using a professional chef, and the price goes up as more people RSVP. They also have saved a seat for you and accounted enough drinks for you, so canceling at the last minute will basically be saying to your host that you\u2019re fine with them throwing money down the drain. No matter how wealthy your host is, that isn\u2019t cool, and it\u2019s just rude. So, if you say you can attend, you need to attend. This also applies to if you\u2019re attending a group meal or a one-on-one meal, obviously, but I would say it\u2019s especially important for dinner parties.<\/p>\n

Second, the arrival. For meals at restaurants, you need to be on time, if not ten minutes before your reservation. If you\u2019re going to be more than fifteen minutes late, it\u2019s considered polite to call ahead and let the restaurant know you\u2019ll be late. For dinner parties, it\u2019s a little different. I personally usually try to arrive about fifteen minutes after the stated time, but I think within thirty minutes is acceptable and an article online agreed so officially, you have a thirty-minute arrival from the stated start time to arrive. If you are going to be later than thirty minutes, call your host or hostess and let them know that you aren\u2019t simply bailing on them, and apologize because really you should plan ahead to be there on time. Now, a side note, I wouldn\u2019t necessarily choose to arrive exactly at the set time, and certainly not early. Why? Because your host or hostess will probably still be rushing around to set things up and if you arrive fifteen minutes early, they\u2019re going to be even more stressed by having to entertain you and having to finish making the final preparations for the evening. Don\u2019t put them in that situation. My rule of thumb: fifteen minutes is long enough that they won\u2019t be running around like a chicken with their head cut off, but early enough that they won\u2019t be worried you aren\u2019t coming.<\/p>\n

Third, to gift or not to gift? I would say if you\u2019re going to a restaurant unless it\u2019s a special event like a baby\/wedding shower, engagement party or birthday party, no gift is needed. As far as dinner parties go, I\u2019ve run into some debate with a friend. She says bringing a gift is tacky, I say it\u2019s rude to not bring a gift. So, I went to the internet and asked and came to this conclusion: bring a gift if it\u2019s a more casual dinner party, and\/or if the host\/hostess is a friend. Otherwise, a gift isn\u2019t necessary. I tend to err on the side of bringing a gift when in doubt, but make sure it\u2019s something tasteful. Emily Post had this to say about it:<\/p>\n

\u201cGift possibilities include wine, Champagne, flowers (preferably in a vase), a potted plant, chocolates, specialty food items such as jams and jellies or other condiments, fancy nuts, olives, olive oil or vinegars, or items for the house, such as cocktail napkins, guest soaps and lotions , a picture frame, or a scented candle. A CD or book is also appropriate if you know your host\u2019s taste.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you aren\u2019t sure what your host or hostess would like, or if you feel uncomfortable about picking out a gift at all, just don\u2019t do it. It\u2019s not important enough to stress over, but know that your host will probably appreciate any little gift because it\u2019s the thought that counts.<\/p>\n

Now, onto the actual meal! I\u2019ll start with a restaurant. If you\u2019re a woman, often times whoever you\u2019re with or the waiter will pull out your chair, so give them the chance to do that. Once seated, the first thing you should do is figure out where to put your stuff.  Putting it on the table is not an option<\/i>. Also, putting your purse on the back of your chair is also not a good option, and I\u2019ve seen that lead to women\u2019s purses falling over, leaving their belongings scattered on the floor, so logically it really isn\u2019t a great idea either. The best things you can do are put your purse on our lap (this works ok for clutches, but personally I find it annoying) or put it at your feet.  Regarding dinner parties, I know a lot of the ones I\u2019ve thrown or attended have places set aside where you can put your belongings. Really you don\u2019t need to be carrying around your purse at your friend\u2019s home dinner party or not, so set it down in the designated area.<\/p>\n

This next paragraph will be a little bit of a rant. Feel free to skip it, the bottom line is do not use your cell phones. Do not <\/i>pull them out while you are at a restaurant. Do not leave them on the table. Nothing should be on the table except for your dining utensils and food, really. Put your phone on silent, or turn it off, and keep it in your purse for the duration of the meal. The same applies for dinner parties. Do not be on your phone, especially at the table. If there is some sort of emergency going on, you need to let the person you\u2019re with or the host\/hostess know ahead of time, and you can politely excuse yourself if need be. If you really feel the need to check your phone, excuse yourself to the restroom, and go check it there. Otherwise, it\u2019s very rude. VERY<\/b> rude. If you are reading this, and you still pull out your phone while dining with someone, I will personally pop out of a bush, take your phone, and smash it. If you get nothing else out of this, then I want it to be: do not use your cellphone at the table. It\u2019s my biggest pet peeve and universally is very rude, so please, I promise you will survive a couple hours without it.<\/p>\n

Moving on, to the oh so exciting napkins. If you\u2019re at a restaurant, after you\u2019ve situated your belongings and turned your phone off, the first thing you should do is place the napkin in your lap before you eat or drink anything, even a sip of water. If the napkin is fairly small, feel free to completely unfold it, but if it\u2019s larger fold it in half with the crease facing you. If you have to get up, I\u2019ve heard two different things, but I\u2019ll share the one I\u2019ve found to be most common and in my opinion is more polite. When you stand up, fold your napkin (maybe in half, don\u2019t get crazy this isn\u2019t time to practice your origami) and set it on the left side of your plate. Some people say to leave your napkin on your chair, but I don\u2019t really find that to be the common practice and personally I think it\u2019s weird. At the end of the meal, place your napkin to the left side of the plate. Napkins are meant to catch food. Don\u2019t blow your nose with it, and don\u2019t necessarily wipe your entire face with it. It\u2019s meant to dot your lips and fingers and catch food, anything else is kind of gross.<\/p>\n

As for a dinner party, follow your host\u2019s lead. When they put their napkin on their lap, you should do the same. This also applies to eating. Once your host has taken the first bite (which should be after everyone is seated) then you\u2019re free to also start eating.<\/p>\n

Ok, so one thing I know people sometimes struggle with is the silverware. Instead of a standard spoon, fork, knife, plate and cup, there is a multitude of silverware and dishes at your disposal. To start, there are a few solid rules that will help get you through most situations. Use your utensils from the outside in, and, you eat from the left and drink from the right. The first part is fairly self-explanatory: as a general rule, there should be roughly three forks to your left side, and then probably two spoons and a knife to your right. The first fork (from the outside, left) is for salad, the second for dinner and third for dessert. On your right, the first spoon is generally for soup, the second a \u201cteaspoon\u201d and then your knife is for your dinner. The second common rule (eat from the left, drink from the right) means this: if you are confused about which objects are meant for you or the person next to you, apply this rule. Napkins, bread and butter plates, etc will be placed on your left. Water goblets and wine glasses will be to your right. I\u2019m going to include some fun infographics at the end of this segment that will help you keep everything straight, but those are the two most useful, easy to remember rules.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve seen some people be confused at dinners regarding the glasses. There is usually a glass called the water goblet, and it\u2019s for, you guessed it, water. Then, there\u2019s usually a wine glass. I\u2019ve seen a lot of infographics floating around about the different wine glasses, but in general, red wine glasses are more stout and white wine glasses are more long and slender. The most slender of all are champagne flutes, which you will probably encounter while fine dining.<\/p>\n

Regarding bread and butter: This is something you\u2019ll often see at restaurants depending on what sort of food is being served. It\u2019s common to have this to snack on while eating your salad or waiting for the meal. The proper etiquette for eating bread and butter goes like this: when the bread is passed to you, take off the amount you want, and also be sure to take the amount of butter you want with your knife and leave it on your plate. It\u2019s rude to keep dipping into the shared butter source or asking that the bread be passed to you over and over. Once you have your portion in front of you, it\u2019s best to tear off smaller pieces and butter them as you go.<\/p>\n

The food. Ok, so you\u2019ve made it to the actual dinner portion and you\u2019re ready to dig in. There are rules for that too! First, you should wait for everyone to have their food in front of them. It\u2019s rude to start eating while others are still waiting on their food. Second, there are specific ways to hold your utensils. I tend to use my utensils in a more \u201cEuropean\u201d fashion (because I am European by birth) but I can tell you that in the US while eating, and more specifically while cutting meat, that Americans cut with their right hand (assuming they\u2019re right handed) while holding their fork with their left hand, then they place their knife at the top of their plate, and switch hands. Cut one bite at a time, at most two. As far as how to hold various utensils, there are a million and one youtube videos out there. I don\u2019t really stress out about it too much. Unless I\u2019m having dinner with the Queen or Emily Post I don\u2019t stress about the tiny details.<\/p>\n

There is also an entire language with knives and forks. I\u2019m going to include an infographic (yayyyy for infographics) at the end rather than explain them, because visuals will help you so much more, but just know that there is an unspoken language regarding utensils. I think the infographic I\u2019ve found disagrees with this, but I know this is the commonly accepted etiquette in the US for when to signal you\u2019re done eating: \u201cTo signal that you are done with the course, rest your fork, tines up, and knife blade in, with the handles resting at five o’clock and tips pointing to ten o’clock on your plate (4:20).\u201d<\/p>\n

As far as the actual food goes, you need to at least attempt to eat what\u2019s being served. Even if it looks horrible, you need to choke down a couple bites. The only excuse for not eating something is a food allergy, and I mean a real food allergy, not your I\u2019m-trying-to-lose-weight-so-I\u2019m-cutting-out-gluten food \u201callergy\u201d. Somebody slaved away to make your meal, you need to at least eat a few bites. If you have dietary restrictions, you need to make them known far in advance-probably when you accept the invitation. The host or hostess will try to make arrangements for food you will actually eat. Depending on where you are in the world, there are rules about cleaning your plate versus leaving food on your plate. In the US, the rules aren\u2019t so strict. Do your best to eat most of the food on your plate, but no licking it clean or spooning the sauce into your mouth. That\u2019s disgusting.<\/p>\n

Wait Staff. This applies to upscale dinner parties and restaurants. Do not ever shout for your waiter. Attempt to make eye contact with them, and once you have done that you may slightly raise your right hand and slightly raise your index finger to signal that you need them. Be nice to the wait staff, smile, make eye contact, always say please and thank you. Being a waiter or waitress sucks enough, don\u2019t make it worse.<\/p>\n

Payment. So you\u2019ve made it through the meal (this is for restaurants only) but what about the bill? If you\u2019re on a date, it\u2019s customary for the man to buy the meal. If you\u2019re in a large group, generally the person who invited the group is supposed to pay. It\u2019s considered particularly polite if they give the restaurant their credit card information even before the meal begins. And when in doubt, tip well. It\u2019s good karma.<\/p>\n

Instead of vocab like I normally I do, I\u2019m going to just add in other tips that didn\u2019t really fit in a specific section.<\/p>\n